Why We Deceive

Lying serves several psychological functions, and not all are selfish:

• Self-protection: avoiding punishment or embarrassment
• Social harmony: sparing feelings and avoiding conflict
• Status management: appearing more competent or likable
• Altruistic deception: protecting someone else from harm
• Self-deception: believing our own distorted story to protect our self-image

Understanding the motivation behind a lie tells you more than catching the lie itself. Someone lying to protect your feelings comes from a different place than someone lying to manipulate you.