Red Flags Versus Rough Patches

Distinguishing between temporary difficulty and fundamental incompatibility is the critical skill:

• Rough patches are periods of stress, miscommunication, or life pressure that affect otherwise healthy relationships. They are time-limited and responsive to effort from both people
• Red flags are patterns of behavior that indicate fundamental character issues: contempt, dishonesty, controlling behavior, or inability to take responsibility
• The repair attempt is the key test. Does the other person respond to your concerns with effort and change, or with defensiveness and blame?