The Space Between

An idea often attributed to Viktor Frankl captures the goal: between stimulus and response there is a space, and in that space lies our freedom. Building that space is the practical work.

The five-second pause: When a trigger fires — heart racing, jaw clenching — count to five before responding. The delay lets your thinking brain catch up with your alarm system.

The labeling technique: Name the category. "This is my rejection trigger firing." Research on affect labeling suggests that putting a feeling into words helps calm it.

The reality check: Ask: "Is this about right now, or something older?" Naming the historical part stops you from dumping old weight onto the present.