The Flooded Brain

When your heart rate exceeds 100 BPM during an argument, you're physiologically flooded. Your prefrontal cortex — the part responsible for empathy, reason, and perspective-taking — goes offline.

Gottman's research found that once a partner is flooded, constructive resolution all but stops — the calm thinking it requires is simply offline. Your body needs a minimum of 20 minutes to return to baseline. Continuing to argue during flooding is like trying to steer a car with no hands on the wheel.