Spotting Flooding in Your Body

Flooding shows up physically before you can name it: a tight chest, a clenched jaw, feeling hot, narrowed vision, or the sudden urge to flee or say something devastating. In this state, your brain shifts from problem-solving to survival mode — everything your partner says starts to sound like an attack.

Learning to catch these signals early is the real skill. When you notice them, that's your cue to use a cool-down script — not a sign you're losing the argument.