The Aftermath Protocol

Start by each sharing your feelings during the fight — not thoughts, feelings. "I felt dismissed" is different from "You dismissed me." Then share what triggered you.

Next, take ownership of your contribution. Not all of it — your part. "I escalated when I raised my voice" or "I shut down instead of staying present." When both people own their piece, the blame dissolves and what's left is two humans who hurt each other and want to do better.