Five Pillars of Resilience

Research identifies five factors that predict whether couples bounce back:

• Shared meaning — a sense of purpose and shared narrative about your life together
• Emotional responsiveness — reliably turning toward each other in distress
• Flexible roles — ability to adapt when circumstances demand it
• Humor — maintaining lightness even in dark times
• External support — friends, family, or professionals to lean on

Emotional responsiveness is the most critical. When your partner reaches out in pain and you respond with presence, you build trust that survives anything.