Love Lives in the Details

Grand gestures make good movies. Small acts make good relationships: coffee the right way, a "drive safe" text, or remembering the stressful meeting tomorrow.

Gottman research calls these moments bids for connection. Every time your partner makes a small bid and you respond with attention, you deposit into the relationship bank. Couples who stay together respond to bids 86 percent of the time. Those who divorce respond only 33 percent.