Designing Your Rituals

Great rituals share three qualities: they are consistent, meaningful to both partners, and protected from cancellation. A date night that gets cancelled every other week is not a ritual. It is a suggestion.

The content of the ritual matters less than its regularity. A weekly walk is stronger than a monthly elaborate dinner that keeps getting postponed. The ritual is the commitment, not the activity. "We do this every Thursday" beats "we should plan something soon."