Words to Retire

Some phrases escalate every time, yet parents use them on autopilot. "Calm down" has never actually calmed anyone down — it tells the child their emotional state is wrong. Replace it with: "Take your time. I'm not going anywhere."

"If you don't stop, I'll..." launches a power struggle on top of an emotional crisis, so the child now has two problems instead of one. "You're being ridiculous" invalidates their whole experience; what feels small to you feels enormous to them.

Practice your replacement phrases when things are calm. Write them on a sticky note and tape it to the bathroom mirror.