Timing Your Repair

Wait until both of you are calm — never mid-meltdown. How long depends on the child:

• Toddlers: 5 to 15 minutes after the storm passes
• Preschoolers: 15 to 30 minutes, once they are regulated
• School-age kids: 30 minutes to a few hours, depending on severity
• Teens: give them space, but reach out within a day

The real signal is re-engagement. When your child makes eye contact, seeks closeness, or returns to normal activity, they are ready. Do not force it on a child who is still processing. "Come here and hug me" while they are shut down can feel like an invasion, not a reconnection.