One Rule, Every Age

The thread running through every stage: match your words to the brain in front of you. The mechanics change, but the principle does not.

• Toddlers need concrete language that points to the behavior you want, since abstract praise or warnings don't register yet.
• Their behavior is the message — what looks like defiance is usually a need they can't yet put into words.
• School-age kids need one honest reason, because their logical brain has to see why a rule makes sense.
• Teenagers need to be addressed with dignity, and led toward their own choices instead of ordered into them.