The Developmental Lens

A four-year-old takes everything literally. A twelve-year-old hears subtext that is not there. Knowing where your child's brain is changes how you talk to them.

Under five: use short sentences, name emotions, and narrate what you see. Keep it concrete and immediate.

Ages six to nine: they can handle brief explanations. "We leave the park now because it gets dark and we need dinner." Connect the rule to a reason they can see.

Ages ten to twelve: they want the "why" behind everything. Invite their thinking: "What would happen if we stayed out late on a school night?" Their logic is developing — engage it.