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LESSON 2 · Parenting Your Teenager

The Side-Door Approach

Direct questioning pushes teenagers away. The side-door approach uses indirect routes to conversation. Drive them somewhere — car conversations work because there is no eye contact and no escape. Cook together. Walk the dog.

Text or leave notes for things too awkward to say face-to-face. Many teenagers communicate more honestly in writing because it removes real-time performance pressure. A simple text keeps the door open without forcing a confrontation.