The Myth That Won't Die

The belief that opposites attract is deeply embedded in culture — from romantic comedies to folk wisdom. The quiet person falls for the loud one. The planner falls for the spontaneous free spirit. It makes for great stories. The evidence says it is mostly wrong.

Decades of research consistently show that people are attracted to those who are similar to them in values, personality, intelligence, and even physical appearance. This is called the similarity-attraction effect, and it is one of the most robust findings in social psychology.