The Common Mistake

Most parents who try coaching make the same slip: they jump straight to the limit. "You can be mad, but you cannot throw things" — said before the child feels heard.

A limit without validation feels like punishment. The exact same limit, after "I can see you're furious," feels like safety. Same rule, different result.

So practice on small stuff, not just meltdowns. "You look a little annoyed we're having leftovers again" is coaching too. You don't need a crisis to start — you need a few seconds of being seen, first.