Rebalancing the Scales

Once you see the imbalance, you can correct it. Start with the child who gets less natural positive attention from you. Find something about them that genuinely delights you — their persistence, their humor, their creativity, or their sensitivity — and let them catch you appreciating it. Practical rebalancing:

• Give the less-favored child first choice sometimes
• Ask for their opinion on family decisions
• Find an activity that is just for the two of you
• Discipline them with the same warmth you give the easier child

Children do not need equal treatment — they need equitable treatment. Different children need different things.