The Conscious Selection Criteria

Do not choose by chemistry alone. Add character criteria: responsibility for mistakes, respect for boundaries, consistency across contexts, stable friendships, and kindness to people with less power.

Write down every partner you've chosen. Next to each name, list three things that attracted you and three that went wrong. The overlap reveals your pattern. That overlap is not coincidence — it is your unconscious script. Seeing it clearly is the first step to rewriting it.