Your Attachment Style Action Plan

Start your audit and shift toward security:

• Identify your style — take a validated attachment questionnaire (free versions are available online)
• Map your triggers — notice what makes you pursue and what makes you withdraw, then write them down
• Name your patterns — tell your partner, "When I get quiet, it means I'm scared, not angry"
• Practice the opposite — if you tend to withdraw, reach out; if you tend to cling, self-soothe
• Repair after a rupture — circle back after a tense moment instead of letting it harden into distance

Your attachment style is one lens through which you may read closeness, distance, and conflict.