Breaking the Loop

Steps to transform a repeating fight:

• Name it — "This is our recurring fight about [topic]" removes some of its power
• Map the positions — each person writes down their ideal outcome AND the dream underneath it
• Find the non-negotiable core — what part of each position is identity-level important?
• Identify the flexible edges — where can each person bend without betraying their core?
• Run an experiment — try one approach for 30 days, then evaluate together

The goal isn't resolution. It's dialogue — an ongoing, respectful conversation that honors both people's needs.