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LESSON 5 · Emotional Intelligence for Couples

How to Turn Toward

Turning toward doesn't require deep emotional labor. It's simpler than you think:

  • Put the phone down — even 3 seconds of eye contact counts
  • Acknowledge the bid — "Oh yeah?" or "Tell me more" is enough
  • Match energy, not content — if they're excited, be excited; if they're venting, validate
  • Physical response works — a touch, moving closer, nodding
  • Delayed response still counts — "Hey, you mentioned something earlier — what was that about?"

The bar is surprisingly low. You don't need to be a therapist. You just need to show up when they reach out to you.