LESSON 5 · Emotional Intelligence for Couples
How to Turn Toward
Turning toward doesn't require deep emotional labor. It's simpler than you think:
- Put the phone down — even 3 seconds of eye contact counts
- Acknowledge the bid — "Oh yeah?" or "Tell me more" is enough
- Match energy, not content — if they're excited, be excited; if they're venting, validate
- Physical response works — a touch, moving closer, nodding
- Delayed response still counts — "Hey, you mentioned something earlier — what was that about?"
The bar is surprisingly low. You don't need to be a therapist. You just need to show up when they reach out to you.