Diagnostic Questions

To uncover the real issue behind any argument, use four diagnostic questions:

• "What about this situation bothers you most?" — surfaces the emotional core
• "What would a good outcome look like for you?" — reveals the need
• "When did this first start feeling like a problem?" — identifies the trigger
• "Is there something bigger this connects to?" — invites the deeper truth

These shift the conversation from positions to interests. A position is "I want a corner office." An interest is "I want to feel recognized." You can solve an interest a hundred different ways. The position has only one solution.