Defusing an Aggressive Speaker

When someone comes at you hard, the fastest way to take the heat out of the exchange is to make them slow down and explain themselves. Two phrases do this well:

• "If I understand correctly..." — paraphrase their point back to them, which buys time and proves you actually listened
• "Help me understand your perspective." — turns attack-and-defend into shared problem-solving

That last phrase is the stronger one. Even with an aggressive speaker, it forces them to slow down and explain rather than escalate.