The Narcissistic Pattern

Narcissistic behavior follows a recognizable cycle in relationships.

Idealization. At first you are on a pedestal — the most brilliant, beautiful, perfect person they have met. This love-bombing feels intoxicating. You feel uniquely seen.

Devaluation. Gradually the pedestal crumbles. Criticism replaces praise. Nothing you do is good enough. The person who once adored everything about you now finds fault with everything.

Discard or hoovering. Eventually they move on to a new source of admiration, or they hoover — pulling you back with brief returns to idealization before the cycle resumes.