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LESSON 4 · Fight Fair: Conflict Without Damage

Damage Assessment

After a big fight, most couples make one of two mistakes: they either pretend it didn't happen or they re-litigate it endlessly. Neither works.

The aftermath conversation isn't about who was right. It's about understanding each person's subjective reality. Two people can experience the same fight completely differently. Both experiences are valid. Your job isn't to agree on facts — it's to understand each other's feelings.