It's How You Say It

You can say the perfect phrase in a sharp, frustrated tone and it will fail completely. De-escalation needs a low, slow, steady voice. Drop your pitch. Slow your pace.

Body language amplifies tone. Get down to their eye level — standing over a screaming child is a dominance signal that escalates. Open your posture. Avoid crossed arms or pointing fingers. If safe, offer a hand or a hug. Physical co-regulation is even faster than verbal co-regulation.