A Quick Reference

Keep these swaps within reach:

• Effort over talent: "You worked hard" beats "You're smart."
• Descriptive over evaluative: "I noticed you kept trying" beats "Good job."
• Curiosity after a stumble: "What did you learn?" beats "It's fine."
• Awareness over warnings: "Notice where your feet are" beats "Be careful."
• Feelings over silence: "That really hurt" beats "Don't cry."