Comparing Siblings

"Why can't you be more like your brother?" feels motivating to say. It does the opposite.

Each child needs to feel seen as their own person, not measured against a sibling.

When you do need to address behavior, compare the child to their own past instead: "Last week you handled this calmly. What was different today?" Same standard, no rival. It keeps their dignity intact while still naming the problem you want to fix.