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LESSON 2 · Sibling Wars to Sibling Peace

Referee, Not Judge

Most of these mistakes share one root: parents try to be the judge who decides who was right.

A judge has to pick a winner and a loser. A referee does something different — enforces the safety rules, then lets the players sort out the game. Switch roles. You stop hitting and name-calling, but you hand the actual problem back to the kids to solve.