The Story You Tell Yourself

Psychologist Martin Seligman found that resilience hinges on explanatory style — the story you tell yourself about why bad things happen. Pessimists see setbacks as permanent, pervasive, and personal. Optimists see them as temporary, specific, and external.

Losing a job can mean "I am a failure and always will be" or "this company was not the right fit, and now I can find something better." Same event, entirely different recovery trajectory. Reframing is not denial — it is choosing the interpretation that serves your future rather than your fears.