What to Actually Say

Go to your child. Get down on their level. Make eye contact if they will let you. Then keep it simple:

1. Name it: "I yelled, and that was not okay."
2. Own it: "I lost control of my voice. That's on me, not you."
3. Separate it: "That was about my feelings, not about how much I love you."
4. Reconnect: "What do you need from me right now?"

The whole thing takes about thirty seconds. And never bolt a condition onto it — "I'm sorry I yelled, but you need to listen" cancels the entire repair.